Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Top 11 Dumbest MCU Moments (Part 2)

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Here are the Top 5 Dumbest MCU Moments. For the remaining 6 of the Top 11, CLICK HERE. For the rest of this list, click READ MORE:


Comic Book

#5: Thor’s Pointless Vision Quest (Avengers: Age Of Ultron)


So while the Avengers are chilling with Hawkeye's family back at the ranch, and Ultron is busying playing God by making machine in his own image, Thor decides to drop by another dimension to take a dip in a mystic hot tub.

It's here where Thor experiences a trippy dream sequence wherein he discovers an important revelation: the Infinity Stones exist! (Dun dun dun!)

Yeah, this scene could have easily been left out without losing anything important. Obviously it's supposed to reveal the nature of the Infinity Stones, but that's something most viewers have already figured out by now.

If you've been paying attention to these movies up until this point, especially with the end credits scenes, you should already have a good idea about the Infinity Stones, what they are, who's trying to collect them, and why that's all a very bad thing.

Even as an expository scene, it doesn't do anything to properly explain the Infinity Stones. It's just a mess of random images with vague messages.

In fact, a much more detailed explanation about the Infinity Stones was already presented in Guardians of the Galaxy. So not only is this scene not telling us anything we don't already know, but it's doing it so poorly.

This feels like an advanced calculus class that, on the day before a big exam, offers a lecture on how 2+2=4. It's not telling us anything new, and it's wasting time that could have been better spent on something more important.

At least we wouldn't get a worse moment of world-building in a superhero movie until Batman Vs. Superman where Wonder Woman literally watches teaser trailers for the other DCEU movies.

Finding Debra

#4: Ego Ruins His Own Plans For No Good Reason (Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol. 2)


This point is going to include major spoilers for Guardians of the Galaxy: Vol II. Though I already mentioned there were going to be spoilers on this list, so you've already been warned.

The big reveal in that movie is that Peter's father, Ego, had sired his son for the sole purpose of creating an offspring with his own powers to use as a catalyst for his evil scheme to...what else?...take over the galaxy. (Of course!)

In fact, Peter isn't his first or only child. Ego has been the baby daddy for several half-planet children across the galaxy, yet Peter was the only one capable of using his powers without dying.

So Ego gives his whole "join me and together we can rule the galaxy" spiel to Peter, who manages to become seduced to the "dark side" with the promise of "phenomenal cosmic power."

So Peter joins him willingly, falls under his mind control spell, and not even the other Guardians are able to snap him out of it. Ego seems to have a good chance of succeeding with his evil plan. The only way he could fail is if he were to do something extremely stupid.

Ego does something extremely stupid.

While talking to Peter about his mother, Ego tells him that he loved her so much that he feared his love for her would interfere with his evil plan. So he killed her. Yeah, turns out Ego was the one who created her fatal brain tumor.

This of course pisses off Peter, who snaps out of his mind control spell and does the rational thing anyone would do to someone who confessed to killing their mother: turn that son of a bitch into Swiss cheese with a barrage of laser blasts.

Well, what do you think was going to happen, Ego? You just told him that you killed his mother, the only person who ever loved and cared for him. You think he was going to take that news lightly? You were this close to universal domination, and you screwed it all up by pissing off the only person who could help you. Ego, you literally let your own ego get in the way of your plans.

This was so insanely stupid that it would take something equally insanely stupid to make up for it--something like Peter turning into Pac-Man for their big fight. (And that'll do!)

Comics Alliance

#3: The Mandarin...Just, Just The Mandarin! (Iron Man 3)


I'm sure Iron Man fans were initially ecstatic to learn that the main villain of Iron Man 3 would be The Mandarin, one of Iron Man's biggest, baddest, and most popular villains.

The movie certainly tried to set him up as a compelling antagonist, keeping him cloaked in darkness with his face concealed in shadow, creating an aura of mystery surrounding his true identity.

And then by the third act, his identity is finally unveiled, and he's revealed to be none other than...Red Herring!

No, seriously. He's a red herring. He's just some random washed-up British actor serving as the cover for the real villain, who's none other than...some guy. Just some guy!

Wow. That's pretty weak.

I understand why Marvel decided to portray the Mandarin this way. The actual comic book character is a Fu Manchu Asian stereotype that's little more than a product of his time who wouldn't fly today without evoking the wrath of Tumblr social justice warriors.

Even then, this was the worst possible way Marvel could have handled this character outside of portraying him in his original "problematic" form, and it's not like Marvel didn't have any other options.

For instance, the 90s cartoon series portrayed him as a green space alien. Marvel could have easily chosen that route for the character.

Instead, just as they did with the Ancient One, they tried to fix one problematic character through the more problematic solution of white-washing one of the few Asian Marvel characters.

The consolation here is that one of the end credit scenes revealed that The Mandarin actually does exist. So who knows? Maybe fans will finally get to see the character done better in the future.

Screen Rant

#2: The Shrapnel In Tony Stark's Chest (Iron Man)


Let's talk about Tony Stark's origin. In the first Iron Man movie, while on a publicity tour for his advanced military weapons, Tony Stark and his convoy are attacked by terrorists using his exact same military weapons against him.

The attack causes a piece of shrapnel from said weapons to plunge into Tony's chest and become lodged near his heart, to the point where if the shrapnel gets too close to his heart, he will die.

So Tony gets the shrapnel removed, right? Actually, no. Instead, the doctor whose trapped with him by the terrorists installs an electromagnet into his chest, preventing the shrapnel from entering even further into his chest and into his heart.

One could argue that the doctor is forced to do this because they're trapped in a cave without the advanced medical equipment necessary to remove said shrapnel, but considering Tony apparently had enough equipment to create a fully-functioning mechanical suit of armor, that argument falls short.

But once Tony escapes from his captors, surely then he visits a doctor to have the shrapnel safely removed from his chest, right? Actually, no. He instead creates the arc reactor to replace the electromagnet in his chest to keep the shrapnel from getting close to his heart.

I guess there was no other way for Tony to have the shrapnel removed, and thus he was forced to continue wearing his arc reactor to keep himself alive, right?

Actually, no. Because at the very end of the third movie, he finally does get it removed. He also says he's done being Iron Man--even though he continues being Iron Man in the next few movies.

No kidding. This aspect of Tony Stark's character really ticked me off when I initially watched Iron Man. There was no way that I could suspend my disbelief to accept a character who could build a mechanized robot suit in a desert cave without being noticed by his captors while also being unable to remove a small piece of metal from his body.

Tony Stark may be smart, but keeping a deadly piece of metal lodged in his chest for three movies before finally removing it? Not a good plan.

Hypable

#1: The Impetus For Captain America: Civil War


In one of the MCU's biggest events, the Avengers are split into separate factions over their disagreement concerning the Sokovia Accords, a government document that would place them under the control of the United Nations.

Iron Man wants the team to sign the accords because he believes their actions would require additional government oversight, while Captain America opposes the accords because he feels it will only hinder their efforts.

Now it's understandable why Steve Rogers, the all-American patriot, would be opposed to trading liberty for security, as he's witnessed firsthand how trading said liberty for security has led to his own government transforming into the tyrannical enemies he once fought in WW2, especially when said government has previously been revealed to have been infiltrated by Hydra.

But why would Tony Stark, the lassie-faire capitalist in favor of privatizing the military, be in favor of big government? Well, it's because he felt bad after being accosted by a woman who blamed him  for her son's death during the big battle in Age of Ultron.

Well, clearly the movie needed to invent such a contrived reason to force Tony into rethinking his personal convictions. It's not like he would have been prompted to do that already following his reckless actions in his previous movies, especially after creating the very villain they fought against in Age of Ultron.

Oh wait!

But that's not even the stupid part. What's even stupider is the inciting incident that prompted the creation of the Sokovia Accords.

Earlier in the movie, Captain America and several other Avengers are hunting down a villain plotting to steal a bioweapon capable of killing millions.

When the villain blows himself up with a suicide vest, Scarlet Witch manages to contain the explosion using her psychic powers and propels it upwards to prevent it from killing the people on the ground.

Unfortunately, she accidently causes the explosion to take out the top floors of a nearby building, killing and injuring several people.

The movie wants us to believe that this was all her fault, and that this was the reason why the Avengers needed more government oversight. But it seems like a weak reason.

Scarlet Witch wasn't the one responsible for the explosion. She was only trying to contain it with her powers. If she hadn't, it would have killed all the people on the ground including herself.

Yes, she still got more people killed by launching the explosion into the building above, but that would have been far less people killed than had the explosion gone off in the marketplace below.

This was a no-win situation. Either way, the explosion would have ended up killing people, and even then, it wouldn't have been their fault.

But that's not even the stupid part. You know what is? There's a scene where the Avengers have been gathered together by a government official to discuss the accords and show them footage of their previous battles. The implication here is that the Avengers were the ones responsible for the damage created by those battles.

Yes. This movie wants you, the audience, the people who've watched all the previous movies, to believe that everything bad that happened in those movies were the fault of the Avengers.

Just, just no. Anyone with two pairs of eyes can tell that the Avengers were not the ones causing those problems. They were the ones trying to solve them.

Linkara said as much during his review of the comic event:

"Despite what Vision claimed...the rise of super-powered beings did not mean an escalation of damage...People like the Avengers are not trying to cause problems. Their presence doesn't automatically mean that there will be collateral damage. They are a response to the rising threats."

The stupid part is that this movie could have really served as relevant socio-political commentary. In a time when cops are shooting innocent people and soldiers are launching bombs into hospitals, we need more movies like this to address such topics and generate discussion about how much power the government should have.

But this movie handled those issues poorly, and in doing so, ended up botching any message it was trying to convey. As Lily Peet once said, teaching a good lesson badly is worse than teaching a bad lesson well, because you can has many people with poor moral compasses write for you, and they still won't mess up as badly as a socially-conscious person who can't write for peanuts.

2 comments:

  1. You make a lot of good points, some that I've heard before. The thing is, in spite of the problems, I generally enjoy the Marvel movies, which is more than I can say for the Star Wars movies. And is there time enough in the world to list all of the dumb things in the DC movie universe?

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    1. Same here. The Marvel movies have their flaws, but the DC movies are nothing but flaws! Listing all the dumb things about them would essentially listing every movie except Wonder Woman. LOL!

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